| As a recruiter in the restaurant industry, I | | | | your conversation with a few f-bombs to |
| see candidates or job seekers do stupid | | | | complete your idiot tendencies. |
| things in the interview all day long. | | | | |
| Obviously, we all have an idiot gene hidden | | | | Nothing says you're an idiot like bad |
| in our bodies waiting to emerge somewhere | | | | language in an interview. |
| down the road. If you really want to be an | | | | |
| idiot and NOT get that new position or career | | | | Make sure you trash talk or beat up your old |
| opportunity you dream of follow these | | | | boss in every response. In the seventh step |
| actions. | | | | you want to concentrate on how bad you hated |
| | | | that guy and why. |
| The first step in being a complete idiot is | | | | |
| to arrive late. This could be 5 minutes or | | | | This will surely tell them that you have no |
| an hour just make sure you're late. Nothing | | | | bounds when it comes to revealing things to |
| says, "I don't care about this position", | | | | complete outsiders and you are basically a |
| like being late. | | | | very negative person. |
| | | | |
| Step two is to be rude to everyone at the | | | | Then in the eighth step beg them to not |
| interview. This could be the host or server | | | | contact your previous employer about the |
| who greets you as you enter or anyone else | | | | funds you embezzled or the food you stole. |
| employed by the company. To be effective | | | | Nothing says you're an idiot more than |
| just be mean to everyone, which will really | | | | implying a guilty conscious that is hiding |
| tell them that you're a complete idiot who | | | | something critical to them hiring you. |
| can't get along with anyone! | | | | |
| | | | Make sure you lie about your accomplishments |
| Third, please make sure you answer all | | | | in the ninth step. An idiot lies about all |
| interview questions with very short and | | | | of them! Tell them how you cured cancer and |
| abrupt responses. Don't take anytime to go | | | | invented the Internet or anything else they |
| into your answers. Pretend you are on | | | | want to hear. A complete idiot doesn't care |
| Jeopardy and answer all questions with | | | | about credibility or reference checks anyway. |
| questions. That could be fun and that will | | | | Even better tell them you didn't have any |
| surely tell them you are an idiot who always | | | | labor costs because you paid everyone with |
| runs with the pack and has no leadership | | | | cash. |
| potential whatsoever. | | | | |
| | | | Finally when the interview gets up and is |
| Fourth, for the sake of being an idiot, make | | | | ready to shake hands, don't bother! Storm |
| sure you don't ask any questions about the | | | | out of there like a bat out of hell and never |
| position or the company. Don't bring up | | | | look back. Nothing says you're an idiot like |
| goals or plans in the future because you will | | | | being impolite and displaying no manners. |
| have plenty of time to think about those | | | | Mission accomplished! |
| things later. Really show them you don't | | | | |
| care about their company by saying you dined | | | | Now obviously, this was written to assist you |
| at a competitor the other day and loved it! | | | | in the pursuit of happiness and to find that |
| | | | next great career. By doing the exact |
| In the fifth step, when they ask about | | | | opposite of these actions, you will find |
| yourself pretend you're in a holding cell and | | | | yourself at the beginning of the road to |
| stone wall them until your lawyer gets there. | | | | preparation to land that dream job. Just |
| Whatever you do don't be forthcoming about | | | | remember be kind and courteous to others, be |
| anything or discuss your abilities. If you | | | | formal and professional, be on time, be |
| absolutely have to be an idiot tell them | | | | honest and open with your answers and market |
| about childhood experiences and your first | | | | your abilities whenever you can in an |
| pet. | | | | interview. |
| | | | |
| The sixth is all about cussing and using | | | | And don't be an idiot! |
| inappropriate language. Be sure to pepper | | | | |